


Can you keep a secret?

by falling_mapl3



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 1.16 The Nether Update (Minecraft), 1.17 Caves & Cliffs Update (Minecraft), AU, Angst, Blood and Gore, Brothers, Comforting Technoblade, Dream Smp, FTM, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Gore, I live for the SBI family dynamic, Other, PSPPSS COME GET YOUR ANGST, They ARE brothers, Trans Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Transmasc, YOOOOO THATS A TAG, follows the plotline, im gonna try n draw art for this too!!, please give Tommy therapy, these are there characters!!, trans author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falling_mapl3/pseuds/falling_mapl3
Summary: She had run.Run from Dream. Ran from her abuse. Ran from the imminent threat of death.She was so scared.So here she was. Sitting in a hole, under her brothers house.And thats when, left all alone with her thoughts, the dysphoria set in.It only got worse.But then, Techno comes back.And it all goes to shit.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 336





	1. Intro

made a new au, feelin good! 

this is mainly about transmasc tommy!! 

Ill be following the plotline thats goin on right now! 

Trigger warnings will be put at the start of every chapter! 

if any of the CCs say they want this taken down, this will be taken down asap!


	2. I made a fist and not a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had done it. 
> 
> Punched him. Ran off into the woods, leaving a trail of her blood. A trail of pain. 
> 
> She never wanted to see that motherfucker again. 
> 
> But now. She was alone. Wandering the tundra, slowly loosing feeling in her arms. Until she saw light. And it wasn't New Lmanburg. It wasn't the castle. It wasn't the ruins of Logstedshire. 
> 
> It was a lone house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for drugs/potions, vomit, sucidal thoughts and winter weather!
> 
> Chapter name from Mother Mother- Wrecking ball

She couldn't feel anything. Just cold. Just cold, Needle-like snowflakes landing on her body. To be fair... She was in the arctic.

With one shoe, ripped up jeans, and one shirt. She had fled from Dream like this. Sucker punched him. Right on the cheek. It seemed smart in the moment. But now? She was all alone. Probably dying.

_Not they cared. They would love to find her dead. They would be happy. Just like when Wilbur die-_

No.

They couldn't think like this.

_They would be happy with you gone._

She snarled, wiping the thought away. She wasn't gonna think like that. She was a big woman. Smart.

_Not smart enough to evade Dream. Dream would like it if they died. Dream wanted her to be gone._

But then why had Dream saved her? Dream was good. Dream loved them.

She had to keep going for Dream.

Dream.

Dream.

That was the last thought before she threw up, tears running down her cheeks. Add that to the list of things she would do when stressed.

She slowly stood up again, continuing on with her trek. All she wanted was to lie down. To cry in her bed. To hug Wilbur again. To laugh with Tubbo.

She slowly continued the thoughts, trying not to spiral again. Dream wouldn't want her to spiral. Dream got worried when she spiraled. And she couldn't anger Dream. Dream would get angry if they found her.

The fear was back. With a sudden burst of energy, she started running again, not caring about the screams of pain from her half-frozen limbs. She stumbled over rocks, punching zombies back until she fell onto... dry grass. Warm grass. 

She threw up again. Threw up until there was nothing left. Threw up until she couldn't breathe.

She was so, so scared. 

She shakily sat up, once again trying to breathe. She looked up at the light.

If she had anything else to throw up, she would. 

She had found Technoblades house.

Her brothers house. The insane brother. The brother who blew up her country. 

She sobbed, burying her face in her hands. 

She couldn't do this. But... she would die if not. Either from hypothermia or monsters. Whatever decided to take her life first. So, she stood up, wobbling around the piles of vomit as she climbed up the stairs. 

Relief. 

Warmth. 

She almost fell down again, but she kept herself up, stumbling to the chests to look for food. A bed. Anything that she could get her hands on. She quietly opened the chest, her eyes widening with excitment as she looked at the stuff. Wool. A bed. Gapples. _Health potions._

She let out a woop of happiness, placing the stuff in her bag as she quickly took a small sword and a picaxe. 

She was in Technoblades house. The house of the most feared warrior. 

In his basement. Drinking a health potion. With her brown hair tied up. In a bed. 

Oh fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, thank you for the kudos and the stuff already!?
> 
> if you would like to give me fanart for some reason, pls message me on discord! ill feature it in the chapter !  
> (maple-kid#2665)


	3. Of course I dont wanna feel better!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long overdue feelings take up her mind. 
> 
> It always been there, but its worse now.  
> The hate of how she looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- Misgendering, food, self-hate, n vomit!  
> Chapter name from- Feel Better by Penelope Scott

She had gone a week without food before. Really, she didn't need to be this hungry. She couldn't exhaust her food supply _this_ fast.

But.

Bread.

She hadn't had fresh bread in almost 2 months. 

Fuck it. 

She split another loaf of bread, setting the other one down as she took out a tiny bit of honey. Stolen, obviously. D-

_Don't think of Dream._

She tried brushing away the thought, and sighed, putting honey on the bread. This was one of her first meals in days. She could do this. 

She took a bite of bread. 

_She couldn't eat without Dream._

Bile rose in her throat, and she vomited into a corner, letting out a groan of nausea. 

Only Dream could tell her when to eat. 

_" Dumbass."_

Thats what he had said. 

She hissed to herself, burying her face in her chest. She had always hated herself. 

Why couldn't she just be like Fundy? Or Wilbur. Or Jack. Even like Sapnap. 

Anyone except her. She was mistake. 

Fear ran up her veins. Cold blue, numbing her body.

Ever sense they had moved here. Everyone had hated her. Hated her stupid pranks, her laugh, her uselessness. 

And she hated it too. 

Fundy. Wilbur. Jack. Sapnap. 

She just wanted to be like them. Perfect. They.. they weren't like her. 

They were men. 

Why couldnt she be a man too? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED  
> once again, thank you SO much for reading. you dont know how much this means to me!! 
> 
> if you would like to give me fanart for some reason, pls message me on discord! ill feature it in the chapter !  
> (maple-kid#2665)


	4. Two lives down, one life left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW!! SUCIDAL IDEATATION !!!! 
> 
> things are spiraliing. she missed them. she missed dream.  
> snow is coming, but a horse and its owner are coming too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW! Sucidal Ideation, manipulation and misgendering!  
> Chapter name from Cops and Robbers by The Hoosiers
> 
> (also, im taking inspo from my sucidal thoughts, so im rlly tryin w this)
> 
> a summary will be at the end!

She softly let out a sob, her fingernails digging into the soft flesh of her forehead. She didn't wanna be in this _stupid_ basement anymore. 

Did she want to be with Ghostbur?

Did she want to be with Sapnap, and Jack and Fundy, the men? 

Did- Did she want to be with _Tubbo_??

No. She wanted to-

No. _Needed_ to be with Dream. 

Dream was the only one who cared. They had saved Fi- 

Finley.

She didn't want to be Finley.

She didn't wanna be here. 

The lava. It was calling her. The popping sound as she got closer and closer, raising her foot u-

She let out a wail of anguish, warm tears sliding down her face and into the wounds that littered her body. 

The pain felt nice. 

She turned to the other side, not caring about the rip of the scab in her side. 

The pain felt welcoming. 

The pain didn't pity her. It was perfect. 

She laughed to herself, not caring to wipe away the tears. Maybe she could just die down here.

Nobody but Dream would care. 

Wait.

Dream needed her to keep going. 

For Dream. 

She loved Dream. Dream was like Phil and Wilbur, before the bombs. 

Dream.

The small figures head dropped to the ground, their eyes rolling up to the top of their skull, maroon blood staining the stone under them. 

On the other side of the Arctic, a figure and its horse were galloping through the blizzard. The hybrids face was shielded from the snow storm, their ears flattened to the side of their face. Gosh, they really wanted to see the house again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT?? WEVE HIT MORE THAN 2000 HITS AND KUDOS??  
> tysm for reading this dumb little fic!!! 
> 
> SUMMARY-  
> they start to spiral, and start having flashbacks to the lava, telling herself they didn't wanna be Finley anymore. They didn't wanna be anything. She thinks about death, but the thought of dream lures her out, and she passes out, hurting themselves in the process.  
> On the other side of the arctic, a lone hybrid is coming home.
> 
> ALSO WHEN SHE SAYS THE LOVES DREAM ITS BC SHE THINKS AS HIM AS A FATHER FIGURE!!


End file.
